Teenage Engineering’s PO-80 lets you cut your own records

In the neverending battle to be the alpha hipster in your local artisan vape café, it’s no longer enough to have the most painstakingly groomed ‘tache, smoke the most unusual pipe, or have the most esoteric collection of Laser Discs. No, the arrival of Teenage Engineering’s PO-80 means you’re going to have to start producing your own vinyl too. 

Despite its Fisher Price vibes, this little USB-powered gadget allows you to cut 5in records with up to four minutes of music on each side (or three minutes at 45rpm) – all you need to do is connect an audio source to the 3.5mm input, whether that’s an instrument like one of TE’s pocket-sized synths, or an iPad or laptop containing a more fully formed track. There’s even a web-based mastering machine that gets your tunes ready for their analogue debut.

Obviously you won’t impress any audiophiles with the lo-fi sound quality of your monophonic cuts, especially if you play them through the built-in speaker, but the kit also comes with an adaptor that allows you to play pre-recorded 7in vinyl on it, so you can stick on something obscure by Hairy Terror and pretend it’s one of your own. You can also use the 3.5mm socket to plug in an external speaker for a bit more oomph. 

The DIY approach doesn’t just apply to making the records. You have to build the PO-80 yourself, so make sure you’ve got a screwdriver handy. It comes with five blank records but once you’ve used those up you can order packs of 10 from Teenage Engineering’s website for £20. A new cutting head will set you back just £15. 

The PO-80 is available to buy for £149, although it’s currently sold out, so you’ll have to record some new tunes while you wait for more stock. Planet of the Vapes won’t know what hit it.